it's 9pm and Owen has been fast asleep for 21/2 hrs now.
is it normal that i miss him? that there's this physical longing to hold him, cradle him in my arms right now.
sometimes i want our bedtime routine to last forever. i want to giggle and splash with him in the bath and then snuggle him close in his little shark towel, with the hood pulled over his damp head. i want to nurse him in the glider while whispering lullabies and watching his eyes slowly close. i want to pace his room, rocking him in my arms watching as he dreams, beautiful dreams the make him smile slightly and breath rhythmically.
some nights i seriously fight the urge to sneak into his room and stand over the crib watching his peaceful sleep, that's because i know if i spent any amount of time gazing at him there is no way i would be able to resist the urge to scoop his tiny body out of the crib and kiss that sweet neck, those glorious cheeks, those tiny fingers and toes.
I have to admit, when I read posts like this I feel like a horrible mother. I think I got over that pretty quick- I need my sleep. I think as my daughter as gotten older, I have grown to love watching her sleep more now. And it is so peaceful and perfect. I love when I lay her in her crib and she instantly cuddles up. Its perfection.
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