what my loved one says about me

i'm linking up with Becky for "what my loved one says about me." after a lot less pleading than i thought it would take, Beau agreed to make his blogging debut and write a post listing 10-20 facts about me. i think he did pretty well!

so apparently all these bloggers (such as my wife) are trying to pull the spouses (me) into this wonderful world of blogs by MAKING (just kidding) us write a list of things that many people don't know about them. if you haven't guessed it yet i'm Beau, Katie's husband. i'm not really good at all this blog stuff or anything that has to do with me writing, my spelling and grammar suck so i wouldn't be surprised if this is proof read before its posted. it was :) anyways here's my list.

Oh p.s. this is supposed to be 10 to 20 facts..... well see..

1. Katie has the most beautiful singing voice and it brightens my day every time she sings
2. when she raps she likes to throw "gang signs" in the air
3. Katie might say she doesn't know what shes doing but she's so good at everything that she can play it off real good
4. she is just like her mother, if her mom looked into the mirror she would see Katie on the other side
5. she has many different faces to answer you but three you learn fast- happy, angry, and play anger 
6. that she has the most loving heart
7. her smile is breath taking 
8. she hates me taking photos of her even if she asked it's true. i'm not very patient and kind of a perfectionist
9. she has so many shoes that even after building her a shoe rack 4 ft tall and 4 ft wide all the shoes don't fit
10. she loves her blog so much that even after i was sprayed with pepper spray for work and i cant keep my eyes open to save my life i had to write this.... its okay i offered 
11. her mental strength is amazing
12. she truly loves my jeep even though she wants to get rid of it i'd love to have a house more
13. she would rather bake then cook 
14. she has the best teeth with no flaw but the biggest sweet tooth
15. every time she goes to the groceries store she stops at the "oops we baked to much" 

-Beau

my husband is a hunk and is the best ever for doing this for me even though i know he hates stuff like this. i love you babe!

confronting hurt

i will gladly admit that i have lived a mostly carefree life. 

i was raised in a loving home with the greatest parents and siblings a girl could ask for. my parents have always supported me and loved me even when i've made decisions they didn't necessarily agree with. i was blessed to find the most incredible man and give birth to the biggest blessing so far. we have a roof over our heads and don't struggle to put food on the table. we all have our health and have yet to suffer through much more than a bad virus. (knock on wood)

although you might not ever guess it, i've been through my fair share of hurt. some of the hurt i've experienced i chose not to make public, but that doesn't make it any less painful. that doesn't mean i don't struggle with it daily. 

i think with the technology we have today it's easy for people to assume the only people with problems are the ones who post them on social media, but that is far from true. some people deal with their hurt by rallying the support of others and that is perfectly fine. but there are other people who deal with pain in a more subtle and private way and some people try their hardest to push the hurt aside and not allow it to define them.

me. i chose to stay positive. i chose to give people the benefit of the doubt and to always look at what good could come out of situations rather than what could go wrong. now do i always succeed at this? no. some days the pain is just too much. some days i have to cry to my husband and let him hold me and tell me it will be ok. 

the truth of the matter is that there are always going to be people who hurt others. whether it's a family member or a terrorist. whether they cause physical or emotional pain, it's pain none the less. whether it effects 1 person or millions it's hurtful and damaging.

in the wake of the horrific tragedy yesterday i'm finding it hard to stay positive about the pain in my own life. how can people have so much anger and so much hate in their hearts? this is the question that keeps popping into my head. the question i can't find an answer to. the question i will probably never understand an answer to.

all i can do is all i know how to do. pray for the victims of any kind of hurt and more importantly pray for those who have hate enough to cause hurt. they are the souls who need prayers the most, they are the souls who need saving. 

9 week bumpdate

the weekend spring decided to join the party

this weekend was one of the best we've had in a while. the weather was gorgeous all weekend long and it was one of those spontaneous weekends where everything is decided last minute.

friday afternoon i had my 9wk ultrasound a got the chance to see how much Baby 2 has grown, and boy have they grown. since Beau worked late i braved the trip to the doctors office with Owen. he was perfectly behaved as usual. i don't know why i doubted that he would be. 

i'm gonna post a little bumpdate either tomorrow or wednesday.

saturday was perfect. we started the day off with our financial peace university class. when we got home my parents invited us to go to the lake for a cookout that afternoon, so we packed everything up and Beau insisted on bringing my parent's canoe, which turned out to be a wonderful idea. the weather was beautiful and we all took turns going for rides in the canoe, lazing in the hammock  and making s'mores over the grill. i know i've said it already but it really was the perfect day.

sunday was one of those wonderful lazy days. we spent the day outside, playing, soaking up the beauty that was the day. half way through the day Beau decided he wanted to smoke some pulled pork (i got really lucky and married a grill master) we spent the afternoon playing catch phrase on the deck with the delicious smell of the grill in the air. 

 how was your weekend?

preparing for a little one: registering

making a baby registry can be overwhelming. there is so much stuff out there and it takes a lot of time and effort to figure out which products are going to be just right for your baby, especially before your baby is even born.

having been around the pregnancy block already, i guess i have a little expertise on what items you simply must have on your registry. 

1) Aden + Anais swaddling blankets- these are A-MAZING! seriously the number one item all pregnant momma's need to stock up on. they are a little pricey but they're worth it. the light breathable material makes for easy swaddling without the worry of over heating you baby (which is a common new momma mistake)

2) an automatic bouncy chair- it bounces your baby so you don't have to. need i say more? this was a life saver during Owen's first couple months. as much as you might think that you'll never want to put your baby down now, 7lbs gets heavy quick. 

3) gauze cloth diapers- but not for what you'd think. these make the best burp cloths. don't bother wasting your time trying other burp cloths. trust me on this one.

4) Baby K'tan baby carrier- some doctors call the first 3 months of a baby's life the 4th trimester, because they are still so fragile and need constant care. since Owen was born a month early this period lasted more like 4 months. for that period he basically lived in the Baby K'tan. it provided a way for him to feel secure and close to me while giving me my hands free to do other things.

5) breast pump- if you're planning to breast feed at all a pump is a must have. it was a life saver in the first few weeks of Owen's life. he had difficulty latching on so i had to pump and feed him with a syringe. depending on if your planning on going back to work or breast feeding exclusively you can decided whether a manual or electric pump is best for your situation. i was fine with a manual since its rare for me to not be home with Owen when he needs to nurse.

6) diapers- any size, style, brand, you name it. you can never have too many diapers. this is something you'll learn all too quickly when your little one arrives. i would recommend thinking beyond the newborn size because it will shock you how fast your tiny baby grows out of them.

while i have compiled a list of 6 items you absolutely must register for i also go by the rule that more is more when it comes to making a registry. register for anything and everything that you would like to have for your baby (nothing you wouldn't be happy to receive) in all different price ranges. make sure there are little items on the registry for your starving college student brother and big ticket items for your 4 best friends who want to all chip for a big gift.

pick one store and make a full registry there but open registries at all the stores that offer a baby registry- you get a fun freebie gift at each one!

more than anything have fun while your registering. make it a date with your hubby and let him hold the fun price gun (it'll make him feel like he's helping make the decisions)

Owen's birth story

it's about time i got around to writing this down, seeing as my son is 8 months old and i'm pregnant with my second. what! i've been putting it off, but i know that the details are only going to get fuzzier and fuzzier as my pregnancy goes on and probably disappear once i have my second birthing experience. Owen's birth is an experience i will treasure in my heart forever. although i might not be able to recollect the exact times and conversations i can feel the emotions as if i'm in the moment all over again. i hope i never lose that.

this is a long and detailed post. 
i won't be mad if no one has any interest in reading it.
i wrote it for me.

sunday, july 22, 2012

i woke up around 4am after having a terrible nightmare. in my dream i had miscarried and there was blood everywhere. when i sprung awake and sprinted to the bathroom there was just the tiniest bit of blood on the toilet paper. i, of course, burst in to tears and started yelling for Beau. he came into the bathroom and calmed me down, insisting that i was fine, if something was wrong with the baby there would be a lot more blood. he convinced me to wait until 7am to call the dr.

i spent the three hours between scouring my pregnancy books and the internet and eventually decided that i had pass my bloody show. when i called, the nurse agreed that that was what it sounded like and we together decided that there was no reason to move forward my check that was scheduled for wed.

monday, july 23, 2012

i had what felt like menstrual cramps. when i called, the nurse said they were probably braxton hicks contractions since i was only 36wks along. (apparently i've had menstrual cramps that feel like contractions since i was 12. i guess my body knew it needed to prepare)

tuesday, july 24, 2012

while leaving the grocery store with my mom i mentioned that it felt "really wet" down there all day. i was wearing pantie liners and it would leak through. she insisted that i call the dr, because it sounded like my water was leaking. i did and was told to go to labor and delivery to be evaluated.
once there, the nurse hooked me up to the electronic fetal monitor and saw that Owen's heart beat was good and i was having small contractions. she then used a Ph strip to check if my water was leaking. the Ph strip was positive but it was also positive in my urine sample, so that alone couldn't be proof that my water was leaking. the kept me there for another hour before she evaluated me again. she said that normally when someone's sack is leaking, fluid would gush out when she pressed on it. that wasn't happening, so they sent me home. and thank God they did. because guess what? i was in labor. my water was leaking. and had they realized that and kept me at the hospital i probably would have been given pitocin to hurry up the process and that was the very last thing i wanted.

wednesday, july 25, 2012
8:00am- i had a rough night and wasn't feeling so hot when i woke up. i had been having what felt like menstrual cramps, but according to the doctors, and every google search, that wasn't what real contractions felt like.  in spite of the dull pain i forced myself to get dressed and drive to work. i was doing office work for my dad's company so "the office" was my parents house.
10:00am- after a few hours of sending and answering e-mails, my mom insisted that i go lay down on the couch because she could see how uncomfortable the pains were making me. i told her i just needed to finish this one e-mail first, but she refused to let me telling me it could wait. i went a laid down on the recliner and my mom kept looking over at me, with a very concerned look on her face. finally she said "Katie, you look just like i felt when i was in labor. tell me when you have the next pain." so i did and she started timing the distance between my pains. they were 8 min apart. then they were 7 min apart. then 6. then 5. i was in labor!
11:00am i knew i needed to call the doctor and call Beau and while i was trying to decided who to call first, it happened. my water broke. and then began the pain. if i thought i was having pain with each contraction before, oh boy. this pain was unbearable. it immediately brought me to tears. i rushed to the bathroom and my heart dropped when i saw that the liquid had i green tint. i knew that meant meconium. my little man had already made his first poopy. so as i called the doctor my mom called Beau and told him it was time. we left the house while still on the phone and my mom drove like a mad woman to the hospital (she kept praying that we would make it to the hospital. she really didn't want to have to deliver my baby in the back seat of her van)
11:30am- we arrived at the hospital and Beau arrived almost immediately after us. i don't think i had ever been so happy to see him. as soon as he walked through the door i started leaning on him and squeezing the crap out of his arm/back/whatevericouldgetaholdof. poor guy. the nurse brought a wheelchair to bring me back to my room, but when i tried to sit down the pain that was already unbearable became 10x worse. the nurse said that was a good sign, i guess because that meant i was far along?
so i slowly waddled my way back to the room constantly asking the nurse when i could get an epidural. i needed an epidural! she said she needed to first check how far along i was and that would require my to lay down in the hospital bed. problem was, when i sat or laid down the pain became 10x worse.
(from the point that i arrived at the hospital i have no recollection of timing. so we're going to approximate)
~12:30pm- Beau and the nurse finally convinced me to lay down just for 5 min so she could check me. i was completely effaced and 6cm dilated. she said she would work on getting my epidural and left to talk to the doctor. as soon as she left i was back out of the bed because the pain was more than i could stand. i was pacing and squatting and leaning on the bed, trying to find something that might ease the pain. (you know how most women have a moment of relief between contractions? yeah, i didn't have that because i was having back labor.)
~1:00pm- finally the pain became too much and i threw up. that was my breaking point. i very sternly told Beau he needed to get out there and find me someone who would give me an epidural. my nurse came back and said that it was taking so long because my doctor was in a delivery, but she finally had the ok and my epidural was on it's way.
~1:30pm- the anesthesiology arrived and gave me my epidural. i'm really squeamish about needles so i though it would be really bad, but in comparison to the pain of labor, it was nothing. it didn't take long for the epidural to start working. each contraction became less and less painful and the constant pain of back labor slowly disappeared. the nurse checked my progress and i was 8cm dilated and Owen's head was way down.
the time between then and delivery is very much a blur. i was in and out of sleep for most of it. i remember the nurse telling me to call her if i felt the urge to push, but i couldn't feel anything. i also remember right before she checked me for the last time, she came in and looked and the contraction sheet and said when she saw how strong my contractions were she was thinking she needed to lower the pitocin before she remembered that i wasn't on pitocin.
~3:00pm- the nurse went to check my progress to see if i was getting close and i was completely dilated and Owen's head was visible, almost crowning! she rushed to tell the doctor and prep me for labor. a few nurses from the nicu came down because Owen was only 36wks. they explained that they were going to check and make sure his lungs were ok and that he hadn't swallowed any meconium right after delivery and then they'd hand him back to me. i was nervous and excited and more than anything couldn't wait to finally look into my baby's eyes.
~3:30- my doctor came in and the pushing began. this part of Owen's birth, the delivery part, is probably my most favorite thing i have every experienced. pushing with all my might knowing that after all this hard work my son was going to be in my arms gives you a greater high than you can possibly imagine. being able to watch it all happen makes it that much better. seeing his head get closer with every push gave me the drive to push longer and harder. after 3 or 4 pushes his heart beat was dropping with each push and the doctor decided to use the vacuum to get him out with the next push. he placed it on Owen's head and i pushed harder than i knew i could and it happened.
4:12- my tiny baby boy was born into this great big world. the doctor quickly held him so i could see him and had Beau quickly cut the cord before handing him off to the nicu nurses. thankfully he was screaming the entire time which meant that his lungs were healthy. they cleaned him up and weighed him and handed him back over to me.

holding my baby in my arms for the first time it was like everything was right in the world. all my worries and fears disappeared. i had finally found where i belong. i had found my meaning, my purpose. it was as if the answer to all my questions were in his dark squinty eyes.

 Owen's perfect little 7lb 1oz and 20in self changed my world so drastically in a matter of seconds. the woman i was at 4:11 had no idea the depth of love a heart can hold.

weekend update

we had a busy weekend full of fun and family time.

we spent friday night as usual with pizza and a movie. thank goodness this was the last friday of Lent because i miss my pepperoni pizza!

saturday morning i wasn't feeling so hot. (i've been having some nausea with this pregnancy which is totally different from my pregnancy with O where i wasn't nauseous once.) since i couldn't even roll myself out of bed, my fantastic husband packed up the diaper bag and took Owen to watch his Aunt Mary's soccer game. I'm so lucky to have such a caring husband! 

thankfully that afternoon i was feeling much better and was able to go with my mom and sister to get our nails done. when we got home Beau was ready to go for a run at the park. i packed up a picnic and we invited Aunt Mary to join us for some fun at the park! Mary and i pushed O on the swings and carried him around the playground so he could check everything out. once Beau finnished his run we laid a blanket in the shade and had a nice picnic. 

that evening my mom, Mary, and i went dress shopping with my sister-in-law to be. she found the perfect dress for her and my brother's courthouse wedding this afternoon!

sunday was of course Easter and we spent the morning cuddling in bed. right before we gave O his Easter my camera's battery died. i'm so mad at myself for not thinking to charge up the battery the night before. so all we have is one decent picture and the rest are all cellphone pics of O's first Easter. we went to the 12:30 Mass and then out to lunch. it was really nice to spend most of the day just the three of us. for dinner we went over to Beau's parents apartment and had a big feast. they always make a ton of food when we come over, which is nice because we always get to bring home leftovers. 

all in all we had a fun busy weekend. just how i like them!

how was your weekend?