confronting hurt

i will gladly admit that i have lived a mostly carefree life. 

i was raised in a loving home with the greatest parents and siblings a girl could ask for. my parents have always supported me and loved me even when i've made decisions they didn't necessarily agree with. i was blessed to find the most incredible man and give birth to the biggest blessing so far. we have a roof over our heads and don't struggle to put food on the table. we all have our health and have yet to suffer through much more than a bad virus. (knock on wood)

although you might not ever guess it, i've been through my fair share of hurt. some of the hurt i've experienced i chose not to make public, but that doesn't make it any less painful. that doesn't mean i don't struggle with it daily. 

i think with the technology we have today it's easy for people to assume the only people with problems are the ones who post them on social media, but that is far from true. some people deal with their hurt by rallying the support of others and that is perfectly fine. but there are other people who deal with pain in a more subtle and private way and some people try their hardest to push the hurt aside and not allow it to define them.

me. i chose to stay positive. i chose to give people the benefit of the doubt and to always look at what good could come out of situations rather than what could go wrong. now do i always succeed at this? no. some days the pain is just too much. some days i have to cry to my husband and let him hold me and tell me it will be ok. 

the truth of the matter is that there are always going to be people who hurt others. whether it's a family member or a terrorist. whether they cause physical or emotional pain, it's pain none the less. whether it effects 1 person or millions it's hurtful and damaging.

in the wake of the horrific tragedy yesterday i'm finding it hard to stay positive about the pain in my own life. how can people have so much anger and so much hate in their hearts? this is the question that keeps popping into my head. the question i can't find an answer to. the question i will probably never understand an answer to.

all i can do is all i know how to do. pray for the victims of any kind of hurt and more importantly pray for those who have hate enough to cause hurt. they are the souls who need prayers the most, they are the souls who need saving.